5 Great Strategies To Resolve A Conflict

Resolving a conflict is not easy. It is not in the first place because nobody has taught us to do it and above all, because they are such complex situations where emotions are always on the surface. Differences, anger or anxiety cloud our reason and that is when we perceive that we lack resources, adequate strategies.

Thus, as Stephen Robbins , an  expert in organizational behavior and professor at the University of San Diego, tells us ,  conflict is  a  process that begins when one party perceives that another has negatively affected or is about to affect it. in a negative way, some of your interests. They are moments where a small alarm is turned on, so to speak, in our brain.

If there is one thing we must admit, it is that nobody likes these situations. However, managing these differences and those situations where our interests intersect and dissenting voices appear, is something almost essential in our day to day life. In every environment, be it work, affective and family, these dynamics arise. Solving them in the best way will help us to be more competent and feel more secure on a day-to-day basis.

Tactics to resolve a conflict

Is there an ideal and foolproof strategy to resolve a conflict? The answer is no. Each situation involves a series of characters trapped in an original problem that has led to that complicated situation. Therefore, there is no solution for all, a remedy for all ills, an answer that works for each side. Now, what is within our reach are a series of strategies from which we can start.

Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann’s 5 Strategy  Model

Psychologists Kenneth Thomas and Raph Kilman developed a conflict management model that, despite being over 50 years old, is still being applied. The truth is that it is useful and allows us to reflect on many situations where there are these differences, these disagreements. Let’s see what this approach consists of.

Ways Conflict Will Not Be Resolved And What We Should Avoid

• The competitive mode : it is a type of dynamic where we assume the role of an assertive but not cooperative person. In this case it is oriented only towards power and to satisfy its own interests. Who is limited only to compete, will exclusively defend their own rights and will defend a single position. If an agreement is reached, it will be by imposition.

• The one who eludes. In this case we have someone who is neither assertive nor cooperative. They are profiles who choose to postpone meetings, who prefer not to speak or even assume the fact that there is no conflict.
• The complacent way. In this type of dynamic we would have someone who is not assertive either. However, something even more complex happens: you put your own interests aside to satisfy those of the other person. In other words, he sacrifices himself.

Ways that will help us resolve conflicts

• The collaborator mode. In this option we would find an assertive and cooperative profile. They are people who work with others to find a solution that fully meets the goals of both parties. To do this, they analyze, contrast interests, value, explore disagreements, resolve differences and apply great creativity. 
• The mode of engagement, for its part, places us in an intermediate zone between assertiveness and cooperation. When there is a compromise, the objective is to find a timely solution that benefits both parties. In this case, work is not usually carried out as deep as in collaborative mode. Be part of the differences to find quick solutions, a temporary agreement that helps us move forward.

The authors defend that when a person is aware of these categories, they can select the strategy that is most appropriate for them to solve each new confrontation that arises.

But how to put all this into practice?

Resolving conflicts is possibly that pending account that we all drag in one way or another. It is enough that a concrete situation arises to perceive that void. Thus, it is very possible that it will be difficult for us to apply the method proposed by  Kenneth Thomas and Raph Kilman overnight. However, everything is a matter of mentalizing ourselves. To put will, assertiveness and Emotional Intelligence.

To lay the foundations for this progress, these tips can help us.

• Don’t try to avoid the problem. Solve it . If we deal with them as they arise, we will eliminate future causes of conflict.

• Start by identifying your own knee-jerk reaction to conflict. You can do it by thinking about how you have managed a couple of previous conflictive situations, being honest in the assessment.
• As soon as you work the previous step and are aware of how you act, approach new difficult situations  with respect and calm by being kind to the other person and listening carefully to what they have to say. Just because they have a different posture than you does not mean they are aggressive or negative.

• State the facts and establish those points on which you could agree. Next, explore the different alternatives available to you, establishing some objectives and deadlines that you can both agree on, working to meet them.

• As you move forward, a bond of mutual trust, understanding and understanding will develop between you, facilitating the possibility of addressing any issues you may still have to resolve the conflict.
• To resolve a conflict, always avoid confrontation and focus on the issue, not the person. This will prevent a simple problem from ending up in a heated dispute.

As a last tip when managing and resolving a conflict properly, it is good to work on ourselves starting from the following questions:

• Am I too aggressive or too weak when faced with conflict?
• Do I need more knowledge or practice in managing anger or assertiveness?

Freeing ourselves from barriers, no matter how small they may be, is one of the necessary steps for an emotionally healthy life. Let’s reflect on it.