Whoever Surrenders Completely Never Returns Whole

Your partner breaks the relationship they have with you and you have the feeling of having left something in that person that you are not going to recover, a relative or a friend dies and you feel that nothing will ever be the same again because you have lost something. The one who gives himself completely never returns whole.

If you have truly loved someone you know that when that person is no longer in your life, there is something that takes away, a piece of your heart disappears forever and does not return, it is a feeling of emptiness that only time helps us fill .

How hard is it to say goodbye when you want to say stay

We are emotional beings by nature and, although it is very difficult to prevent a situation from causing you an emotion, it is possible to manage that emotion in terms of its duration and intensity through emotional intelligence.

An emotionally intelligent person knows their strengths and abilities and has learned to listen and understand others with empathy. For this reason, although he feels the sadness of the loss, he has confidence in the future and knows that with time everything will be overcome.

In the face of the death of a person you love, you can do nothing except accept that loss. Faced with a couple breakup, although it is a different situation, it is also important to accept the situation, be realistic and find the means to manage the emotion that invades us.

Surrender and attachment

In your relationships with your partner or with friends and family, there should be a “surrender limit” to avoid situations of emotional attachment. Walter Riso in his book “Detachment without anesthesia” argues that creating a dependent relationship means surrendering the soul in exchange for false pleasure and security.

Riso defines attachment as an obsessive bond with an object, idea or person that is based on four false beliefs,  which are the following: that it is permanent, that it will make you happy, that it will give you security and that it will give meaning to your life.

If you live a bond of this type, you will never be prepared for the loss and you will not accept that the other person leaves, that the relationship is broken or that the situation changes. Loss will make you feel empty and without a clear direction.

Attachment corrupts. It makes you unhappy and prevents you from having respect for yourself and your values. You are afraid of losing what you want and you lose joy because you invest all your resources and your energy in another person, putting aside your life, what you really like to do.

The key is learning to let go

Throughout your life, your ability to give and be generous is part of who you are as a human being. However, it is also necessary to use the necessary tools to manage these losses with integrity and accept that changes are part of life.

Saying goodbye to a person, a job, a relationship is an action that we continually face and it is necessary to face those moments with courage and intelligence. This skill is necessary to avoid excessive suffering or a sense of loss that negatively affects us.

Let out your pain. There are still many people who are ashamed to cry in public and hold back their feelings and words. To let go, however, it is important to let the pain out, cry all that is necessary, but without isolating ourselves. Talk to friends, tell them how you feel and listen to their advice.

Focus on you. For once it is necessary to be a little selfish and spend a good time looking inside without causing you to feel guilty. What do you like? What do you want to do? Thinking about your needs and what really matters to you, beyond that person or situation that you must let go of, will give you security and confidence in yourself.

Beware. The focus on yourself should also translate into rewarding yourself and taking care of yourself. If you want to go on a trip, this is the moment: you will take perspective, disconnect and see things differently. Think that new situations bring new elements and that you always win something : freedom, learning, ability to overcome, etc.