The Decision Not To Have Children And Its Effects

The decision not to have children, as well as the decision to have them, is correct if it obeys a well-founded motivation. A child completely changes the individual life and the relationship of the couple. For this reason, it is a matter that only each person can elucidate and it is best to do it reflectively and without pressure of any kind.

Keep in mind that the decision not to have children is reversible, while the decision to have them is not. A child cannot be erased from reality, even if the parents decide to turn away from him or turn their back on him. Because of the above, it will always be more difficult to choose to bring a new life to the world.

A child provides feelings that no other bond awakens so deeply. It also implies inalienable commitments that last forever, unless we want to be good parents. Not everyone feels ready for such profound experiences with another human being, so the decision not to have children would be the right one.

The decision not to have children is respectable

Before continuing with this reflection, it is important to note that until a long time ago a strong taboo weighed on those who made the decision not to have children. In the case of men, in one way or another it was associated with a certain disability. In the case of women, it was seen as a show of selfishness or extreme coldness.

Although the number of couples who have children continues to be higher, the number of those who decide not to have them is also increasing. Currently there is more freedom to make these types of decisions. Procreation is no longer thought to be an obligation in the life of every “normal” person.

We insist that what makes this decision right or wrong are the motivations. Despite this, it is even probable that the decision not to have children is increasing as a mechanism of adaptation to a world with hostile conditions. Overpopulation induces us, in one way or another, to lean towards the options that best guarantee our survival as a species.

The fences of the economy

One of the motivations for making the decision not to have children is the economic situation of each one. It has been established that those who most resist procreating are men from the most disadvantaged classes and women from the middle and upper classes who are professionally successful.

In both cases, the central factor in the decision is economic conditions. In one case, because the circumstances do not allow responding to the commitments implied by having a child in basic aspects such as food or education. In the other case, because the professional is absorbing and rewarding enough to leave no room for anything else.

It is striking, however, that low-income women are not as reluctant to not have children as are men of the wealthy classes. Probably, for them a child replaces the satisfaction that they do not find in their economic activity. And perhaps they do not feel that a child represents a great change, to the extent that it is assumed that their participation in the pregnancy and in the upbringing is not so demanding.

Pessimism as a perspective

The decision not to have children is also very typical of those who see the future with pessimism. This is not necessarily a neuroticized response to the vicissitudes of reality, but often obeys an objective assessment of many factors that weigh on humanity today. There are so many latent threats in today’s world that it is very difficult to look to the future with hope.

One of the indicators that a society sees the future in a positive way is the increase in births. It was what happened after the reconstruction of many countries, after World War II: the famous baby boom . Those were times when a new dawn was seen on the horizon, calling for a bet on tomorrow.

Today almost the opposite is happening. The news tells us of crisis, of deterioration, of decline. We move daily through a sea of ​​uncertainties and negative changes that take us by surprise. It is the ideal breeding ground for reasonable pessimism, based on objective data.

Be that as it may, the important thing in the decision not to have children is that it is accompanied by a deep and healthy reflection. The same is true for those who decide to start a family. Children must be the fruit of desire and are first gestated in the head and in the heart so that later they become a symbol of love for life.