What Is Criticism For?

Criticism is a constant attitude in our day to day. Depending on the quality of our relationships, whether they are negative or positive,  they can always bring us great lessons. Socially, we live in an environment where criticism is an indispensable requirement and a way of sharing the emotions that we generate about others. Your family, your partner, your children, at work … Plots where the feedback of the other person is necessary and crucial to achieve the basis of a good relationship.

Today I would like to talk to you about positive criticism, but we will also touch on its negative side, the one that can do us the most damage internally. The reasons and the origin of why the human being has the habit of criticizing others, is in relation to problems or weaknesses of the person who is originating the criticism .

What do we criticize for?

The reasons why we use criticism in our relationships are diverse. Today we are going to talk about some of them so that you can also identify the reason for each of your criticisms.

To please others

It is true that many of us have been carried away by the criticism that our friend of the soul begins to create, simply by following the thread of the subject and not appearing different, hoping to make the person in question feel good .

Surely this will work for us at that time, but we will be showing that we are unreliable people. If you also do it in front of more people, they will think that in their absence also criticism, hindering your healthy relationship with them.

We are not comfortable with ourselves

When we are not satisfied with ourselves and ourselves, we criticize in order to make our personal flaws seem less great. It is also common at this point to criticize others in order to try to find a way out of our own mistakes and hide them.

Point out that others also make mistakes

It is a way of being able to make it clear that others also make mistakes, not only us. It is like a way of feeling better about our mistakes, of not feeling so alone.

We criticize the things we don’t like about ourselves

And how do you value and judge yourself when you make the same mistakes as the people you criticize? People can act as our own mirror, reflecting bad habits or actions that we are overlooking, simply because it is “us” and our ego. If this happens to you, take advantage of this feeling and try to change what you are not liking about yourself.

We criticize out of envy

This can be because we are envious of the other person for their appearance or for their money . When we criticize people who are successful, we simply do it to justify that we do not have it.

I have a theory about it, and that is that if you feel envious of “that”, it is because you can achieve it perfectly and you are also capable of achieving what you set out to do. What happens is that internally you feel angry for not daring to take the step, as the person criticized in question has done and you release negative energy in that way.

On the other hand, what is the difference between a constructive criticism and a destructive one? There are 3 basic elements that can help us detect the difference between one or the other: the intention, the words we use and the way we are saying and expressing criticism.

How do we react to criticism?

When we encounter criticism, we can react and act in different ways. The most important thing is that you know how to manage and handle the situation in a positive way, to avoid having exaggerated reactions. If not, you run the risk of spoiling and worsening your relationships with the people around you and, most importantly, with yourself.

In order to remain calm and not be affected by criticism, it is very important to develop and enhance security and self-confidence. This will help us to properly interpret reality, recognize our mistakes and more consciously assess our successes.

With this, you can use any criticism as a learning and get the positive side out of it, allowing you to improve yourself and improve yourself both inside and out.

In order to get the most positive out of a review you have to:

• Acknowledge what they are telling you.
• Clarify and ask what is the intention of the interlocutor.
• Do not get defensive, wanting to attack.
• You can ask for ideas and suggestions in this regard.
• Interpret criticism appropriately and positively.

How can we stop criticizing?

This deeply ingrained habit, especially in our society and way of life, can be very difficult to eliminate, if we are too used to speaking badly about other people; if you practice criticism a lot with your friends, and if your self-esteem influences as we mentioned in previous points.

If we want to lose this habit, follow these tips:

• Analyze  what are the real reasons why you are criticizing. These are usually due to inner needs, such as appreciation, recognition, and love.
• The best person to satisfy your own needs is yourself. Keep it in mind and accept yourself. This will lead you to reduce your own need to criticize others.
• Know that the person you are criticizing may be offended. Don’t do unnecessary harm.
• Try to avoid judging with  stereotypes. As you well know “appearances can be deceiving”
• The best advice of all: empathize with people and think how you would feel if you found out that they are criticizing you.

Now that you know what criticism is for, what are you going to do about it?