Acceptance And Resignation: Two Very Different Concepts

There are concepts whose meanings are so similar that they are often confused. Acceptance and resignation are two of these neighbors, not being of little importance what differentiates them. Now, why is it difficult for us to specify whether we are talking about one or the other?

Because both represent an action or a process that involves a change of perspective regarding a more or less specific circumstance. Accepting and resigning are vital processes that influence, above all, our control over what surrounds us. Not only from the physical world, but also from our ideas, expectations, mental schemes, etc.

In fact, both concepts often alter what we decide is in our control (or may be) and what is not. But it is precisely how we carry out this alteration of the elements that are under our control that differentiates acceptance from resignation.

Why is it important to differentiate acceptance and resignation?

Differentiating acceptance from resignation is not just a didactic or semantic exercise. If we know both concepts, it will be easier for us to identify our attitude or behavior when faced with a vital event that invites us to change our perception of control.

In psychology, the difference between acceptance and resignation becomes important. In many of the cases that come to consultation, part of the therapeutic process goes through an acceptance exercise. But is it possible that patients can confuse accepting and resigning themselves? Yes, quite often. In fact, explaining the differences between the two is usually necessary and is part of what we call ‘psychoeducation’.

Differences between acceptance and resignation

Given the importance of delimiting these concepts, it is best to delve into what differentiates them:

Will

Accepting and resigning are not similar processes as far as will is concerned. Acceptance is a process that is done, to a large extent, consciously. Moreover, therapeutic interventions invite to increase the degree of awareness about a problem before working on acceptance.

On the other hand, resignation is not sought in the therapeutic framework, it occurs in a much more unconscious way and produces discomfort. Sometimes life circumstances make us lower our arms and not even realize it.

Role

The role of the person in an acceptance process and in a resignation process is different. While in the first we would be facing an active role, in the second the role would be more passive. That is, there is a decision making to make a change that normally affects our emotional state if we talk about acceptance.

In the case of resignation, we usually place the responsibility for our change of perspective on factors external to us, circumstantial. Hence, the person who resigns usually has a passive role in this change.

Intention

By resigning ourselves, the intention, although it may have its evolutionary logic, does not lead us to reduce the suffering we experience due to a given situation. When we accept, we do so to reduce our suffering.

Judgments

Accepting our reality is an achievement that is achieved when we put aside the toga. In other words, accepting, per se , does not have to place us in a certain role, as a victim, for example. What’s more, not making judgments about our situation is one of the factors that makes this exercise so hard on many occasions.

When one resigns, the person tends to also become its harshest judge ; it focuses on whether a fact is more or less fair, or whether a change is more or less opportune, as well as many others.

Acceptance and resignation in our lives

Sport is part of life and it is also, on many occasions, a reflection of it. In it we live contextualized life experiences, such as defeat, loss, success, frustration or euphoria. In this representation of life it is possible to observe, perhaps, with more clarity, the difference between accepting and resigning oneself.

Imagine that you play a team sport like soccer or basketball. Imagine that you are in the middle of the game and due to the time remaining and the difference in goals or points it will be impossible to turn the scoreboard, and imagine that there is something important at stake (it is the final of a tournament, the match that qualifies to the team for a national championship…).

At this point, an exercise in acceptance of the situation would involve continuing to play, with the same intensity and the desire to score a goal or score points, for a matter of dignity, sportsmanship or respect for the team and yourself.

However, resigning yourself here will surely get a somewhat different result, such as playing without the same intensity and adopting an indifferent or carefree attitude.

Acceptance is not an easy exercise, but life predisposes us to practice it. A person with a chronic illness will have to cope with a vital acceptance process, and that process is not always going to be regular or stable. Acceptance, as a process, is subject to ups and downs.

Differentiating acceptance and resignation as an exercise is interesting because, as with other exercises, when we practice it, we learn to do it better and better. And that learning has a lot to say in our happiness.