The Rule Of Three “eses “: Let Go, Smile, Feel

The rule of the three “S’s” offers us a simple but valuable lesson. According to this proposal, in life we ​​must learn to let go because by letting go we give way to our own potential. After that, we must smile, thus allowing us to connect with our interior to generate optimism and confidence. Later, we must feel the moment and open ourselves to everything that is yet to come.

José Luis Sampedro used to say that we all have a duty to seek freedom. However, and we know that well, freedom sometimes requires a certain amount of courage and for that we are not always prepared. As children they teach us to cross the street when the traffic light is green, to obtain the least common multiple of two or more natural numbers, to differentiate eukaryotic cells from prokaryotes and a thousand more knowledge than in the long run, they do not revert too much in our happiness and personal growth.

According to the psychologist James O. Prochaska known above all for enunciating what is known as the Prochaska and Diclemente model of change, people should be initiated very early in two very specific dimensions. Those two concepts are actually two pillars for vital learning: we talk about perseverance and the healthy process of change.

Perseverance is, on the one hand, the ability to commit to a goal. It is to pool resources, motivation, time and energy for that goal, for that dream, for that person. Now, sometimes, that commitment ceases to make sense when there is no longer any benefit, when we feed more on false illusions than on realities. That will be the moment in which we will have to apply the well-known rule of the three “S’s”. Let’s see what it consists of.

The rule of the three “s’s” for advancement and emotional growth

We pointed out a moment ago that in our education or even in the upbringing received at home, nobody prepares us for changes. No one taught us, for example, what to do when anger, disappointment, or frustration painfully piled up inside us. That emotional, messy and impossible to solve puzzle was something that we ended up swallowing by force, and then put it aside as if nothing happened.

This so common and known, did not happen in the Hawaiian people of the nineteenth century. They considered the mind, body, and soul to be integrally related. In this way, whoever accumulated negative emotions, who fought internal battles alone, ended up getting sick. Likewise, and to avoid that discomfort that led to endless physical and psychological ailments, the Hawaiians carried out an evocative and wonderful practice that was collected and described by David Kaonohiokala Bray, a priest who popularized and showed the world much of this native culture.

It is about the black bag and the rule of the three “s’s” that we go on to detail.

The black bags and the need to let go

When a member of the community had a bad time, the group met and carried out the ceremony of the black bag. It was simply a matter of that person listing out loud everything that bothered, worried, or feared. Each thought was symbolized by a stone that was later introduced into that object.

Later, said bag was buried in a secret place. Only when that member of the community had carried out the rule of the three “S’s” would it come to symbolize the liberation and destruction of the black bag. And for that, the first step was to learn to let go.

This practice, this enclave of our personal growth is generated through an adequate “emotional cleansing”. As the Hawaiian community explained, just as we clean our clothes, home or eating utensils, we must also be able to clean and let go of those emotions that imprison us. That we “dirty” inside.

Smile sincerely

The next step in the rule of three “S’s” is to smile. Thus, and although the fact of drawing a smile on our face is not easy when we have dared to let go of certain things, it is necessary to try. The reason is obvious: when one dares to release negative emotions and break ties with what is no longer useful or not beneficial, what he experiences very often is empty.

It is like being suspended in the air. We are aware that behind us there has been a lot of ballast, a lot of luggage, a lot of stones cleared along the way. Now, what we have before us is a clean slate. To avoid that emptiness or that blank canvas scare us, we must dare to smile. We must embrace with optimism what has to come.

Feel the pleasure of freedom

The last key to the rule of the three “S’s” is the most hopeful, the most exciting: feeling freedom. Let’s think about it, when was the last time we felt truly free? This overwhelming feeling arises when there are no weights inside. When there are no black bags to occupy our thoughts. That attack our body, taking away our health.

Feeling is embracing the present, it is trusting yourself, it is listening to yourself and tuning in to what is happening. Feeling is living without fear and that is what we should work on in our day-to-day life just as the ancient Hawaiian community did. Because only when the person reached this last step, that of feeling emotionally free, did the group meet again to destroy that black bag where their regrets, their fears, their anger, their blocks were contained …

Let’s reflect on it. Let’s apply the rule of the three “S’s” in our day to day.