The Art Of Deserving

When talking about the art of deserving, the obvious thing is that one refers to the classic chain between hard work, perseverance and the fruits that come from it. Although this has a lot to do with merit, the truth is that it does not end there. There are many other factors that complete the equation of what you deserve and what you get.

This is precisely why the art of deserving is talked about. As is often proven, people do not always get what they deserve. Sometimes they get more, sometimes less, and sometimes nothing. Justice does not seem to be one of those factors that operates naturally, but rather requires specific actions to make it happen.

The art of deserving tells us about those actions that are required to facilitate that process in which a person obtains what, in good reason, he or she deserves. In fact, each person has an expectation  of what they deserve, but they are not always aware of it and that is a first obstacle. Let’s look at this in more detail.

The art of deserving

The art of deserving is based on the premise we noted earlier: we all have expectations of merit. The problem is that this involves a conscious and an unconscious part. The ideal, in any case, is that there is coherence between the two, but this does not always happen.

Therefore, there are always people who strive to achieve a goal without finally reaching it. Other times the opposite happens: there are people who seem to attract everything positive to them, without having to invest too much effort in it. Why?

Part of the answer may lie in the art of deserving. It has nothing to do with good or bad luck, or with “energy” or things like that. Rather, what happens is that expectations about what you think you deserve are always translated into attitudes  and actions. These are, ultimately, one of the aspects that bring us closer or further away from our goals.

Do I deserve it or don’t I deserve it?

In principle, every human being deserves the best for himself. Many points are added when you act with honesty and decency. Perseverance and effort increase the assets necessary to achieve what each person wants.

It must be noted, yes, that there are impossible purposes and not recognizing it only leads to frustration. It is impossible to extend youth beyond biological limits. You cannot go back to the past under the same conditions. One must also renounce total perfection, full unconditionality, total and permanent satisfaction, and the idea of ​​immortality, both of oneself and of everything that exists.

Faced with possible goals, what often stands between wanting and achieving is the sense of worthiness. In particular, one that is housed in the unconscious area. This gives rise to situations in which there is an inconsistency between the concrete actions that are deployed to achieve something and the attitude that is wielded in that process.

With actions you move towards achievement. With attitude you sabotage that purpose. It is popularly said that there are people who are defeated before undertaking something and that is how it is. As much as they insist on it, what they transmit with their attitude and the way they advance in their process often becomes obstacles to achievement.

Developing the art of deserving

Often an experience from the past without elaboration is at the base of that idea that something is not deserved. It is also possible that an unconscious mandate is being fulfilled, a consequence of how some authority figure looked at us in the past. Likewise, the opposite occurs: being invisible, or having been invisible to others, can sow or feed the idea in the person that this is what he deserves.

How to overcome this? The art of deserving begins with a reconfiguration of your relationship with yourself. Sometimes there are so many difficulties there that professional help is required to achieve that purpose. Other times it is enough to make a sincere reflection that leads to one becoming a good friend to oneself.

On the other hand, it is important to put self-care before any other aspect of life. The first thing is to preserve yourself, maintain your own integrity, give yourself the greatest relevance in everything you do. This is not selfishness, nor arrogance, but a healthy principle of conduct.

Finally, it helps to cultivate fun hobbies and activities. This helps you go through life lighter and burrow into inflexible attitudes. All together calls for a common point: to make yourself happy. On that feeling of well-being and self-care, the art of deserving is built, naturally.