How To Become The Person I Want To Be

Leader of my own company. Astronomer. Someone independent and self-confident. High school teacher. Influencer. Sports coach. A happier and more self-fulfilling person. Each one draws the canvas of their dreams with their own colors, with figures that only oneself understands … However, how do I become the person I want to be? Where should I start?

Vital goals, like existential desires, do not appear before us with a snap of the fingers or by speaking magic words. We know that everything is part of a process of growth and personal improvement for which not everyone is prepared. Because to achieve some objectives, in reality, the classic formula of “trust yourself and the way will appear” is not enough .

Becoming that ideal we have in mind, finally putting on that dream life and showing those personality traits that we long for so much, requires an internal transformation that starts from a process. It is a transit in which we change skins little by little to allow the best version of ourselves to emerge. That ability to conquer what you want, the one that far from giving up or giving up continues to work for your wishes every day.

We are born as individuals and we must evolve to become the people we want. It is therefore time to achieve it.

How to become the person I want to be: keys that will help you

Carl Rogers was one of the most influential psychologists of the 20th century. His humanistic approach gave the field of personal development new perspectives and tools that remain valuable today. Thus, something that he raised for reflection is that each of us puts on masks over time almost without realizing it.

Those masks are anchors for getting social validation. With them, we hope to be accepted, integrated and even appreciated. However, there comes a time when we carry so many masks and so many overlapping “skins” that we hardly recognize ourselves. Because we have lived oriented towards others, but not integrated with ourselves, with our values, ideals, dreams and desires.

For this reason, it is common for more than one to ask the question ” how do I become the person I want to be?” . We have spent so much time separating ourselves from our inner voice that we need to initiate a return to ourselves. Only then can we start that transformation process. A path that does not seek to shape a new self, but rather to allow the authentic being to emerge, that which we have long silenced.

These would be the keys.

Clarify who you want to be (and set aside who you “should” be)

People spend half our lives working on a version of ourselves that does not always conform to our own values. To put it another way, sometimes we focus more on the person we “should be” and not so much on who we really “want to be”.

What should we do in these cases? How do I become the person I want to be?

• To do this, clarify in a concrete way how you want to see yourself in five years. Specify how you see yourself, what you dedicate your life to and what or who surrounds you.
• Next, find out why you want to be that kind of person. Is it a desire of your own or is something conditioning you? Does that long-awaited future version of yourself fit your values?

Recognize your potential, identify your limits and shortcomings

If you ask yourself “how do I become the person I want to be?”, First inquire into your potential and your shortcomings. Do you have the skills and competencies to shape that future version of yourself? If so, acknowledge them and start to develop them much more, work on them.

On the other hand, it is also important to identify your limits and shortcomings. We must free ourselves from all the masks behind which we have hidden. As you do so, you may perceive in yourself an excess of fears and insecurities. Someone who has spent too much time waiting for the recognition and validation of others, needs time to heal, to strengthen internal worth.

Awaken your psychological strengths

Your emotions, your thoughts and your actions must be in tune to achieve your purposes. Your whole being must be oriented towards those vital goals that guard your happiness for you. One way to achieve this, to feel more valid, and to achieve optimal mood is by activating what psychologists Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman defined in 2004 as psychological strengths.

These would be the most suitable for our purposes:

• Enthusiasm: it is the engine of illusion, it is the energy that mobilizes thoughts towards the same purpose, combining creativity, self-confidence and also certain doses of optimism.
• Commitment: developing a firm commitment to ourselves and to our goals is the bridge to success.

• Meaning: everything we do, think and feel must have a meaning, an end. Nothing we do should be by chance.
• Transcendence. Applying transcendence means having a purpose and wanting to aspire to excellence. This concept is related to that summit of which Abraham Maslow spoke to us in his theory of human needs, the one in which one aspires to self-realization.

Accept your fears, they are part of the transformation process

Another critical aspect of our journey to becoming who we want to be is acknowledging and accepting our fears. There is no use hiding them or denying their presence. No one begins the most decisive adventure of his life without fear weighing on his backpack; they form, after all, an indisputable part of our essence, of what the human being is.

To become the person I want to be, I must choose the best path for me every day.

If I want to become the person I really want to be, there is one aspect that I must keep in mind. To advance, to improve myself, to transform myself into a better version of myself requires knowing how to choose the best path every day. Thus, in case one day discouragement and frustration catch up with me, I must choose which state of mind is better for me: defeatism or overcoming?

If another day I have two options before me, choose the easy way and adapt to what others expect of me or continue working alone on what I want, I must dare to decide, to think about what is the best decision. We cannot ignore that well-being and happiness require making decisions at every moment. Doing it with courage and connected to our wishes, values ​​and expectations will always be the best option. Let’s keep it in mind.