Failing In Love, Why Am I So Unlucky?

Many people feel like true failures in love. They always end up having disastrous relationships, which cause them a lot of damage and which increase their distrust of relationships. When… it is not possible to fail in love, what happens is that the wrong person, circumstances or moments are chosen.

When we fall in love with someone, on many occasions we do it out of family similarity. This means that we look at people who look like our father or mother.

Why does someone who has had an absent father or mother have partners who are always working, for example? Because it is what you have identified with love, even though it is painful to admit it.

However, it’s not always like that. Sometimes, what happens is that we do not take time to get to know the other person and check if our tastes coincide, if we are reciprocated in the same way or if the potential partner wants or not to commit ourselves to the same extent. Our expectations often play tricks on us at times.

Insecurity as the main reason for failing in love

The fear of being left alone (without a partner) or the fear that no one wants us or loves us can cause us to start acting in a desperate way. For example, it makes us make several profiles in different applications to flirt, that every time we go to the supermarket or the bank and a person is kind to us we think “this is my chance”. As we drift our thoughts down this path, we forget the most important thing, ourselves.

The article Emotional dependency in couple relationships as Artemis Syndrome: explanatory model lists several beliefs as potential generators of that insecurity that makes us leave a relationship and immerse ourselves in others that do not satisfy us.

We do not know what we want or if we really like it … The only thing that matters to us is to calm that insecurity that makes obsessive thoughts that generate anxiety swirl in our minds. This will only lead to the same result as always: failure in love.

Not defining the type of relationship we want

Love just arises, opposites attract or was it love at first sight. .. All these phrases are part of the beliefs already mentioned and that as a rule lead us to failed relationships. Because, just as we think very well what we want to study, what we want to dedicate ourselves to or if it is convenient for us to move to another place, it is good to do the same with relationships.

Don’t we just pick our friends at random? We hope that our tastes coincide so that we can make plans together, think in a similar way so that discussions do not predominate or be in a similar vital moment to be in tune; Well, with the choice of our couple relationships, the same.

• Are we really looking for a relationship? Sometimes all we want can be “quick satisfaction,” as the article Insights on Couples Today: Young People in Search of Stability , or Enjoying Our Loneliness, points out.
• What would we not tolerate in our partner? It can be smoking, drinking alcohol or being a fan of some sport. We should not judge ourselves when answering this question. For each of us the answer will be different.
• What do we expect from the future? Living in the same house or each having their own, having children or not, moving abroad … All this will determine the type of person with whom we are going to have a relationship.

When we do not ask ourselves these questions and we are not clear about what we expect from the other person, over time recriminations begin to arise or we tend to expect our partner to change.

To avoid this, so as not to fail in love, it is good to be clear about what we want, so that it is easier to build relationships that will really contribute to us.