How To Help A Person To Change Their Habits

Few situations are as frustrating as finding that one of our loved ones harms himself because of his bad habits. Helplessness is great when you try to convey your concern and the other person turns a deaf ear or is offended. However, if we want to help someone to change their habits, we must start from respect and understanding.

And is that, generally, the imposition and criticism are not well received. Nobody likes to feel judged, or for someone else to decide what we should or should not do. For this reason, it is important to be assertive when launching our requests or suggestions for change. Here are some tips to make this communication more efficient.

How to help a person change their habits?

Love or control?

First of all, you have to ask yourself where your desire for the other person to change their habits comes from. Does it really stem from concern for their well-being, or is it a need for control on your part? . Many times, without realizing it, we maintain expectations about how others should be and become frustrated if they are not met.

However, each person has the free will to decide how to be and what to do with his life. And it is not beneficial to try to change someone; on the contrary, we have to accept and value the other for what they are. So ask yourself if what you want to change is really hurting your loved one or not.

It is legal to want someone with cardiovascular problems to stop smoking. But it is not so much wanting a person to do more social life if she does not want to and is introverted in nature.

The right moment

It is really important to know how to choose the moment to convey our concern or our opinion to the other. In this regard, it can be very useful to wait for the other to consult us directly. If, for example, you are dealing with a somewhat aggressive or irritable person, at some point you will have an argument with someone and you will feel bad about it. It is very likely that then you will consult us or tell us about what happened.

This is the ideal time to express our point of view, since the person has expressly come to us and, therefore, is more receptive to what we can say to him. In the same way, if this does not happen, we have to select a suitable moment. Try to address what worries you when you are alone with that person, in a pleasant environment and in a calm mood. In the middle of the storm, your comments can be poorly received.

Assertiveness

Knowing how to handle assertive communication is extremely important when we want to deal with sensitive issues. Our first impulse may be to judge or reproach the other for their bad habits, reprimand them for their poor diet, the little exercise they do, or their poor sensitivity. But this strategy will only get you away from a consensus.

To bring your posture closer, it may be useful to use the sandwich technique. This consists of including a compliment or compliment before and after the message you want to convey. Thus, the person will not feel attacked, and on the contrary, they will be able to perceive that you appreciate and value them, and only seek to clarify or improve a situation.

Also try to focus on what you feel more than what she does wrong. For example: “I am concerned and saddened by the little time we have spent together lately” is more appropriate than: “you spend all day working and you pay me no attention”.

Propose alternatives for the other to change their habits

Many times the best option to get someone to change their habits is to get personally involved and propose alternatives. For example, if you want your son to apply himself more in his studies, suggest that he do his homework together every afternoon. Or if you want a friend to exercise more because it will be good for their health, invite them to sign up for an activity together. Likewise, if you would like your partner to be more open with you, suggest having a dinner alone one day a week and take the opportunity to talk about how you have been.

Getting someone else to change their habits is not easy. But if we really feel that you need this change, we can contribute from mutual understanding, respect and communication.