How To Return To Normal After A Traumatic Situation

Is it possible to return to normal after a traumatic situation? The answer, as striking as it may seem, is “no, not always.” It is not in the first place because in case of not putting in place coping and healing mechanisms after that event, it will surely accompany us always. It will also do it in the form of stress, anxiety, depressive states …

On the other hand, there is an aspect that is important to consider. Even if we overcome the effects of a traumatic event, we will never be the same as before. We will give way to another type of normality, but this does not mean that this is worse than the previous one or that we lose our quality of life. Not exactly like that.

What will happen is that we will create a new “me”, someone with new resources to handle suffering, someone with greater internal security to build their own happiness and grow in hope. It is also advisable to put aside the classic idea that going through adversity one becomes someone stronger.

Healing, overcoming a complex or even dramatic event, is not about strengths. It is about skills, resources, strategies, from learning to be flexible, resilient and able to accept what hurts by learning to live with it.

All these processes are not easy and although we will not recover the normality that we had, we will give way to new stages that are just as bright, just as dignified.

Keys to returning to normal after a traumatic situation

Post-traumatic stress disorders are still poorly understood by most of the population. It is assumed, for example, that these mental realities are mostly experienced by soldiers, people who have been in armed conflicts. Also, who has been the victim or witnessed a terrorist attack. It escapes us that this condition is sadly common and suffered by millions of people around the world.

What’s more, we can have someone very close right now who has been quietly dealing with PTSD for years. Experiences such as abuse in childhood or within an emotional relationship, having suffered bullying or mobbing at work, surviving a traffic accident or even a serious illness leave this wound in the brain that, in many cases, can last forever.

Let’s learn more data to better understand the effect and coping with trauma.

Why is it so hard to recover from trauma?

Not all people live and interpret experiences in the same way. An example, there will be those who experience the loss of their pet in a traumatic way. Others, on the other hand, may not feel it too much and replace the loss of that animal with another after a few days.

There are also those who handle the fact of having been assaulted and experiencing a robbery or robbery quite well. On the other hand, there are people who develop a paralyzing fear after that experience. By this we mean the following: most of us can return to normal after a traumatic situation, but there are those who do it before because they do not experience it with such emotional and psychological impact.

However, sometimes the adverse experience can be especially serious (such as suffering abuse in childhood) and in those cases, the impact is always severe. Brian Levine, a scientist at the Rotman Research Institute at Baycrest and a professor of psychology at the University of Toronto has studied these situations.

Thus, in his book Memory and Trauma, he explains that these experiences generate what is known as the “drag effect” in the brain. In other words, certain images and sensations experienced are sealed in the emotional memory in an intense way.

It does not matter that the days, weeks, months or years go by. These memories permeate everything and generate a drag effect : it takes away our potential, happiness, the ability to make decisions, to establish satisfactory links, etc.

How to get back to normal after a traumatic situation

We pointed it out at the beginning. Although we strive to return to normal after a traumatic situation, there will be many things that have changed in us. But still, it can be done. Furthermore, we even have scales to measure the effects of trauma, such as the one developed by Tedeshi and Calhoum in 1996.

With this instrument it has been possible to appreciate that, on average, it is women who best overcome these events by developing a new appreciation of life and a new positivism. However, to reach that state, it is necessary to go through the following stages:

• After the traumatic experience we must give ourselves time. It is not possible to return to normality after that experience.
• We have to face reality, tell us in detail what has happened, know what we feel, what we think and make contact with what hurts.
• This journey of improvement cannot be done alone. We must lean on someone, that person or those who love us and who offer us their closeness.
• We must request psychological therapy. There are very valid approaches and strategies for treating trauma.
• To try to return to normal after a traumatic situation, it is also advisable to create new routines. The brain needs habits because that is the way we have security.

• It is advisable to start new projects. Feeling that we leave certain things behind to take on new challenges gives us a sense of control and feeds in a way, the illusion and the perspectives.

To conclude, these experiences are not easy for anyone. So much so, that many people remain trapped in post-traumatic stress disorder without ever asking for psychological help. You have to treat what hurts in order to continue living. Because to be happy it is not enough to survive, you have to break those chains that imprison us.