I Have Learned To Value My Little Victories

Give yourself the recognition you deserve. Give value to your achievements, to your small daily victories, to those conquered goals that show you that you are going in the right direction. Doing so will raise your self-esteem and ability to achieve, but, yes, above all avoid comparing yourself with others. Because in terms of progress, each one has a rhythm and sets their own times; without rush or pressure.

Let’s admit it, we live in a highly competitive society in which the one who has the most stands out, the one who arrives first, the one with the most followers, the one who achieves objectives in the most complex circumstances. All these people obviously catch our attention and we even admire them for their excellent performance. However, we cannot have them as that constant reference in which to reflect.

There will be, for example, those who overcome their depression in just over six months. Others, on the other hand, need years because every so often they suffer some relapse, some setback. Likewise, there are those who get used to their chronic disease (diabetes, fibromyalgia, Crohn’s disease …) quickly and effectively, assuming their new reality with encouragement and acceptance. Instead, other people need more time and more support.

In that matter, to achieve well-being, there are no first-rate winners or second-rate losers. There is no rush. There are daily achievements that allow us to move forward and each one does it at their own pace; neither better nor worse.

Your little victories build the big breakthroughs

Frederic Skinner, a psychologist and referent on the behavioral approach, once said that setting goals is the only way to make the invisible visible. Establishing them on a day-to-day basis is just as important as knowing how to recognize when we conquer them. To belittle our achievements, big or small, is a form of self-sabotage and contempt for our own person. Few things can be more damaging.

Thus, the child who is establishing new skills at his own pace does not deserve less praise than the one who reaches them in less time. All understood and internalized knowledge is a victory because thanks to these small foundations, more progress is seen little by little.

The problem, without a doubt, is that we tend to homogenize and standardize when such a goal, such achievement, such literacy competence should be achieved. We forget that each mind is a world and each world has its times.

In terms of psychological well-being and personal growth, almost the same thing happens. Valuing our small victories without giving ourselves references and without comparing ourselves with others is the best we can do for ourselves. However, sometimes it costs us and if this happens it is mainly due to aspects related to our self-esteem. Let’s see it next .

When low self-esteem does not allow us to see what we are worth

In a study carried out at the University of Barcelona by Dr. Carlos Freire, something that is frequently seen from the field of psychology was demonstrated: low self-esteem acts as a defensive mechanism. It prevents us from seeing our worth and capabilities. Not only that, it puts before us that tunnel vision in which we see only the negative aspect of things.

It is therefore very difficult to assess the small daily victories when we are not even able to see them. This occurs a lot, for example, among people who suffer from depression. Their mental focus remains veiled by such uncompromising negativism that it prevents them from appreciating some of the progress they make in therapy.

For example, the fact that someone with major depression dresses up, gets ready and takes the subway to go to psychological therapy is a great achievement. We have managed to get him to leave the house, to put on street clothes, to feel strong enough to take public transport and walk.

However, when we highlight that achievement to them, they are often unable to appreciate it. They often insist that they are wrong and that they wish they were in bed. Low self-esteem often works with the same mechanism: the one that clouds our ability to see our own progress.

You are moving forward, appreciate your small victories because they lead you to something bigger

From the field of neuroscience, they point out that it is the medial prefrontal cortex that orchestrates the establishment of objectives. Once formulated, the most important components are missing: emotion, motivation, commitment to ourselves. We therefore need an optimal emotional level not only to find courage and strength to achieve those goals.

We also need that exceptional combination in which good self-esteem, enthusiasm and hope in turn allow us to appreciate those small victories. And it doesn’t matter if they are almost priceless to others. Sometimes, what for others is a simple step for us is a starting line or the first golden tile of that bridge that will take us towards well-being, towards that change that we long for.

Let us, therefore, be able to appreciate those advances, to give thanks for that achievement, that small goal that has been surpassed. These are all nutrients for the spirit, strengths for the mind and roots to continue to flourish with life. At our own pace, with our times.