Self-reflection: The Key To Personal Growth And Emotional Freedom
Self-reflection invites us to detach ourselves from certainties, to question rigid thoughts, and in turn reminds us that we are free beings, people with the ability to be autonomous when deciding. Few dimensions of personal growth favor that connection so intimate and so full with our own interior, to ask ourselves what we really want and what it is that puts wires to our happiness.
No one will be surprised to learn that much of the gurus of personal development to self – reflective consciousness called “the forgotten art psychology”. This is due to a very simple reason: our society has reached a point where it is much easier to blame someone else or fortune for what happens to us than to have the courage – or the psychological capacity – to assume that Much of what happens to us is an avoidable or unavoidable consequence of our actions.
If I feel unhappy it is because my partner does not know how to make me happy. If I can’t have friends to trust, it’s because all people are selfish. If I fail that exam over and over again it is because the professor of that subject has a mania for me. If there is not a day in which I cannot get rid of this unhappiness and frustration, it is because the world simply does not know how to appreciate what I am worth. Yes…. because…..
We all hear these phrases that respond to the need to find a cause or an ultimate responsible, these arguments that we will undoubtedly have heard on occasion from a friend, family member, classmate or workmate. The “lost art of self-reflection” is the origin of many dysfunctional bonds in families, the cause of emotional relationships breaking down and the conflicts that arise and become encyst in many work environments.
If a person does not have that active thought with which to question certain situations, they will feel very dissatisfied. When that same person is not capable of understanding their own emotions, learning from mistakes or taking responsibility for their own actions and their consequences, they will live in a state of mind where thoughtlessness will only generate a single result: unhappiness.
Self-reflection, a direct journey to the interior to achieve well-being
Many of us have passed that time in our lives when we said to ourselves that “I have to travel, I have to go out, I have to cross my personal borders to know myself”. Little by little we are realizing that in reality, it is not necessary to change the meridian to find that authentic version of oneself, because wherever we go we will always remain the same. Knowledge is inside and starts directly from self-reflection.
Likewise, it is appropriate to remember that this ability is not learned in one day or two. It is a maturation process where we can see our reality from different crystals, where we are able to ask ourselves challenging questions to open our minds, to question everything that surrounds us … and even ourselves. Self-reflection is the engine of personal growth, a journey for which we all have a ticket.
Although curious as it may seem, we do not always make good use of it.
Self-reflection is the key to success
By “success” we do not refer exclusively to reaching a privileged position in society. Success is above all well-being, it is the ability to be creators of our own happiness in any area of life. Thus, and according to Daniel Goleman’s research, self-reflection is crucial to be able to develop, for example, adequate Emotional Intelligence.
We must therefore understand that what psychologists define as “self-reflective awareness” is actually a “meta-cognitive” skill that we can all train and empower. Above all, it means being able to think and reflect on one’s own mental and emotional processes in order to understand and master them.
He is also a person capable of establishing a healthy and useful internal dialogue with which to intuit errors, shortcomings, insecurities and discomforts in order to heal them and build a better version of himself day by day.
On the other hand, and just as a curiosity, it is worth remembering what Emmanuel Kant once said in “The Critique of Pure Reason.” For the Königsberg philosopher, the exterior, what surrounds us is actually the reflection of the interior. Therefore, if our inner image is characterized by a null capacity for self-reflection, low self-esteem, and rigid thinking, all these poor and negative dynamics will make up an oppressive, gray and little facilitating outer world.
3. Understand your defense mechanisms
Defense mechanisms are activated when our identity is threatened or when we are exposed to painful information about ourselves. Being aware of what causes these reactions and what defensive strategies we use will undoubtedly give us objective information about our deepest fears, our shortcomings, gaps, needs …
4. Delve into your strengths and weaknesses
People are a compendium of strengths and weaknesses, of strengths and weaknesses, of lights and shadows. Being aware of each of these dimensions and delving into them will undoubtedly offer us an essential tool to work on our self-reflection.
5. What are your life purposes?
An existence without purposes is not life, a mind without objectives does not prosper, it is not happy, it lacks motivations and reasons to get up every morning.
So let’s make a list of what purposes define us at the present moment and delve into why they are so important to us and what we are doing to achieve them, to make them ours.
6. Be aware of the “cultural and social bubble” that surrounds you
Self-reflection has no reason to exist if we do not also nurture it from a critical perspective. How does the society in which I live impact me? Am I a slave to fashion, do I worry a lot about “what will they say?” Do I prioritize feeling integrated before acting according to my real desires? …
7. Create a daily habit of self-reflection
Let’s spend at least half an hour a day practicing self-reflection. Let’s focus on the important things in life, on our emotional and mental states, on the present that surrounds us. Let’s practice mindfulness, keep a diary, take a walk, paint or remain silent for a long time in that park next to our work …
To conclude, let’s make self-reflection a conscious habit where we dare to be a little freer every day. Let’s put aside the superficiality, the fears and the warmth of the comfort zone to develop a real well-being where we can rediscover that being that we often neglect and let go of the hand too many times: ourselves.
Bibliographic references
Goleman, Daniel (2017). “Triple Focus”. Zeta Pocket
Dyer, Wayne (2010). “Your wrong zones” DeBolsillo
Jung, Carl (2010). “Memories, dreams, thoughts” New essay collection
