The Most Perfect Affection Is To Tolerate Flaws
The most perfect affection resides, in some way, in tolerating flaws. In living outside the ideal world of Disney stories, of unconditional dedication, idealizations and blind responsibilities.
It is not a half affection nor a dependent, aggressive, passive or victimized affection. This is undoubtedly a great challenge. It is difficult to build a love that leaves idealization aside or, at least, gives the necessary weight to expectations.
That is intolerable in any case and condition and, for this reason, we must emphatically condemn all such behaviors.
To fall in love is to love coincidences and to love is to fall in love with differences
To fall in love is to love coincidences and to love is to fall in love with differences. To that stable love we are the ones who confer the qualification of true, which is worth to go beyond infatuation and lead the relationship to acceptance.
Those defects that we can tolerate are defined as small mistakes or different habits (for example: not taking the garbage down on time, leaving the clothes hanging, giving priority to other things when it comes to something insignificant, leaving the toothpaste open, etc. ) .
The combination of disagreements cannot define a relationship, otherwise we will be talking about a nightmare. For this reason, it is important that when choosing who we share our lives with, we weigh well what is healthy and what is not.
Every exchange builds the couple
In many aspects, the conflict in a couple simply obeys different customs and / or priorities. In this sense, we have to make an effort so that those distinctions are reconcilable.
Why? Because there is no better view than the other on those issues that do not harm our inner self or our long-term expectations. Where we leave our socks is not a relevant or transcendent issue.
In love we have to speak as equals, this means that we have to become aware of the obligation to tolerate those manifestations with which we do not agree and that are not transcendent.
Somehow shared experiences build us as people wrapped in a feeling. That is the true commitment. To maintain it, we must constantly examine our needs from the beginning, avoiding placing the responsibility of our discomfort on those defects that we contemplate in the couple.
Feelings, unlike passions, persist over time and are not easily broken. Loving someone for their beauty is not love, it is infatuation. Loving him for his intelligence is not love, it is admiration. However, wanting it without knowing why is love.
Love balances our impulses inward and outward. It is the core that keeps the gear of our shared projects agile. The most intense and invincible force is the one that unites us to understanding, to acceptance.
This includes appreciation and recognition, respect for the person and personal space, freedom, trust and communication. Around this we will be able to talk about common projects, of joy at being with the loved one and of generosity.
Why? Because we live in a world in which relationships are increasingly conflictive because we seek perfection without realizing that we are, by nature, imperfect.
So if we take this into account we will realize that only imperfect love wrapped in “the perfect affection” can save us from unhappiness. And thank goodness that this is so.
There is no perfect match. In fact, being “a good partner” does not mean not having problems, but knowing how to solve them. To love means, in a way, to be in love with our differences. See the good and the bad of our partner without anesthesia.
Where we love and where we are loved is the most beautiful place in the world. Because that is where tenderness, melodies, trust, sincerity, courage, you and me, tomorrow and always reside, and I’m happy if you are. Because where there is love, the heart listens to its favorite music.
