When Should We Let Go Of People Who No Longer Give Us Anything?

The relationships we maintain, of whatever type, should nurture us, enrich us and add to our lives. The presence and connection with the other should be a fuel that drives us and a light that illuminates us. However, this is often not the case. When a link has served its purpose it is time to stop going, but this is not easy. 

We have learned to cling, to tolerate, to leave our skin or the years in unsustainable situations. And all because we have been convinced that letting go and changing course is a personal failure. The end of a relationship is not seen, generally, as a valid and healthy alternative but as a catastrophe. And this thought keeps us, many times, locked in a cage that has the door open.

When is it time to let go?

Thinking about ending a relationship, friendship or even cutting off contact with a family member can arouse great feelings of anguish and discomfort. We can feel selfish and disloyal and, without a doubt, we will have to face the fear of the emptiness that that person will leave. However, on the contrary, sometimes it is a mature and necessary decision. How do you know that the time has come to get away from a person?

When it hurts you

This is one of the clearest situations, but it is not for that reason the easiest to deal with. When someone continuously disrespects you, hurts you or treats you with indifference, you know, at least inside you, that you should stay away. It is a painful and frustrating circumstance because, in general, these types of bonds are difficult to break. And it is that they arise and are maintained by our own inner deficiencies.

You have to consider that this relationship is just a patch, a reflection of those aspects that you need to work on. Doing so will undoubtedly be a process that will require time, effort and perseverance, but you should not tolerate mistreatment of any kind.

When you are not in tune

People evolve and we have no obligation to be the same person we were yesterday, a month ago or last year. Moreover, it is positive to grow personally, question ourselves and modify our perspectives. When the people around you are moving in your same direction, it is truly gratifying to be able to share your progress.

But sometimes we follow different rhythms. Maybe at some point you shared opinions, visions and goals with your partner or with your great friend; but today, even if you still want it, you no longer do it. One of the two may have changed their way of seeing life, their aspirations and desires and they no longer match. And this is fine, it is part of the process of growing up.

However, when this happens you will feel that their company, their presence or their conversations no longer fill you. You will feel that there is no longer harmony and certain discussions or a feeling of disappointment may arise. Then it is better to thank the timeshare and continue on your way.

When you stay in a relationship just out of inertia, it’s time to let go

Sometimes it happens that we maintain a relationship not out of love, but out of inertia, out of routine, out of comfort. It is good for us to have that person to go out, to accompany us in our day to day, so that we do not feel alone. However, this is not reason enough. You both deserve to have relationships that give you fulfillment, momentum, and enthusiasm. Conformity can lead us to instatisfaction in the future because, deep down, we will always want a more meaningful connection.

Reflect and decide

So when in doubt whether you should let someone go, ask yourself the following questions:

• Why am I in this relationship? Is it out of love, out of clinging, out of comfort, out of fear of loneliness …? Try to be honest with yourself.
• What do I want from my relationships? Our expectations with respect to others must be flexible, but we all have essential minimums that we want our ties to fulfill. That there is reciprocal love, respect and support, that motivates and enriches you … Recognize what your minimums are and check if they are being met.

Above all, remember that you have the right to enjoy deep, true and meaningful connections. That you do not have to tolerate pain or dissatisfaction. And that a change of course will never be a failure, but an act of self-love.