Your Resentment Will Never Make Me Feel Guilty Again
Who has not ever had a persistent feeling of disgust or anger towards someone because they consider it the cause of a certain offense or damage suffered? In other words, who has not felt resentment? That feeling that entrenched and aggravated can end up producing resentment.
These sensations can cause from a slight temporary discomfort to a profound discomfort that can make relationships with the offender difficult or impossible. It is an attenuated revenge, that if it wants to hurt, it is not precisely to mortify or harm, but to achieve a taste of satisfaction or control over the situation or the person that was not able to control.
When the filters of resentment change the look
This feeling possesses one of the most powerful filters in the human mind. When resentment prevails in our emotions, we will only look at the negative aspects of the person we consider to be the cause of our pain, skewing the positive and emphasizing their harmful characteristics.
Resentment acts as a protector for our pain, restoring us to the emotional control we had lost, therefore we must understand resentment towards us when we did not do the things that other people believed we should have done. We have also believed that others had to do things in our opinion, coming to feel offense or harm when they did not.
The reflective look is that the resentment is a personal account of what else we do, and considerations change depending on the prism through which we look. Only by rejecting this emotional state and what surrounds it can we stay with the real of people and with the positive that they have contributed to us, because the damage caused is as real as the good done.
To live away from conflict, you have to change the filters of resentment, because there are no filters more harmful than those that court this emotional state. If we have to choose a filter to look at, which is that of affection, it may detract from the same, but I assure you that it will be more productive and will make both you and the one you look at feel better.
Do they make you feel guilty? Cut the manipulation
Provoking guilt in another person to behave as we want is a form of manipulation as old as the origin of time. Culturally, we have been taught that when we “make a mistake,” there is a punishment to be served and what better way to provoke blame in others than by using resentment.
By believing that guilt demands punishment or an obligation to compensate at all costs to repair the harm that we may have caused someone, the emotional cycle of guilt ends up becoming an emotional labyrinth. This emotional labyrinth will make the person strong, who with their resentment causes us a feeling of guilt so great that, without realizing it and in a short time, we become exposed to their manipulation.
If we feel guilty about acts that we have done or failed to do, we will be failing to live our lives authentically. We will be living in the distortion of having to, duty that, and possibly our life will become what other people want from us, giving up our own interests along the way.
Obviously we all make mistakes of which we are not particularly proud, but constantly looking back and berating ourselves for the same mistakes is an unnecessary waste of energy, which does not bring us anything positive.
To stop feeling guilty, it will be enough to take control of our lives and our thoughts, without self-judging from the filters of resentment and the distortion of what other people see in us, because we already know that those filters are distorted.
